Hello, everyone. To say I haven't written anything in forever would be an understatement. I've been focusing on Fanfiction, but it wouldn't feel write to put them here. (Not a spelling mistake- isn't it punny? :D)
    Umm... this story is based off the back of a candy box. Weird, I know. But better than nothing, right? It's the Black Heart candy company, if you're interested. I can't find the story online, or I'd link to it. In the spirit of the story, it's written in black. Can't see it? Highlight it!
    Disclaimer: Not my idea. No.
    I walked the streets with my best friend, Lorna. It was the holiday season, and we were having a fine time doing our Christmas shopping. We peered into every window we passed, a little boisterous with high spirits.
    "Amelie, come here!" Lorna called, pulling me into a candy store. We ducked in, and in the spur of the moment, decided to make a gingerbread house- from scratch. We picked up peppermint sticks and jelly leaves, gumdrops and chocolate drops. Lorna paused next to a small bin in the corner.
    "What about these?" She held up a handful of black licorice hearts.
    "No," I said, pulling her to the cash register. "Just don't."  She started to protest, but seeing the look on my face, ceased.
    After we paid for several pounds of candy, we went to our favorite coffee shop, and I told her just why the black hearts weren't a good idea.
    Years ago, when I was young girl in England, a candy store had opened in out village. The young owner, Edward, always had an array of bright confections and it was a thoroughly cheerful place. I'd stop there every day after school with my friends to look at the display in the window, and he'd often give us each a piece of his newest creation. These began to grow more and more exciting and exotic, as Edward tried to attract the attention of Angelina, a distant relative of my mother and the most sought-after girl in the village. Soon she'd also stop by every day and have a chat with us, while sneaking furtive glances at the handsome young candy maker. But fate was not kind to the shy young couple. Angelina's marriage had already been arranged, with David Greene.
    On the day of the wedding, which everyone in our town had been invited to, everyone was joyful but the bride. She seemed diminished, but only the ones who knew her best thought something wrong. Everyone else put it down to nerves. As the wedding finally ended, the mob carried Angelina and David to their new home. Everyone was looking forward to passing the candy store, which they expected to be full of the best treats imaginable to honor the wedding. They were unpleasantly surprised.
    The window was filled with nothing but black candy hearts. The door was locked, and Edward's house was empty. No one knew what to make of this, but upon close investigation of the whole village, they found a single rowboat missing. Strangely enough, its oars were untouched.
    Lorna gaped at me. "That's terrible!" she cried, squeezing my hand. "I'm so sorry!" I assured her it was all right, and we went back to the flat we shared. I glanced back at the candy store, and for a moment, it looked as if it was filled with black hearts.

    Cheery, no?  Please comment! I won't do anything more like this, it's too depressing, but I hope you enjoyed it!

Please check my Fanfiction page and drop a comment! You don't even have to have an account. My username is, surprisingly enough, AlabasterLily.
-Lily (duh)
   
   

 This is a one-shot I had an idea of doing.  Please read and review!
~Ice Cream Out!
   Rachel ignored Kennedy calling her down and sat staring at herself in her vanity mirror.  Anyone else would kill for the fancy party her parents were throwing for her.  She had refused angrily when last month, her parents began discussing plans for her party again.

   She had reluctantly put on the forest green gown her parents had chosen for her a couple of weeks back.  She traced the golden trim of her dress and sighed.

   Why must they put me through this Miriam?   She bit her lip.  Miriam.  She would have dragged Rachel out and force her to have a good time.  But then again, she wouldn’t be in this situation if Miriam weren’t gone. 

   She stared at her soulless self in the mirror again.  Her hair had been professionally done for the evening.  That evening she didn’t want to celebrate.  Kennedy and Amanda came bustling through the door, followed by Rachel’s mom. 

“Rachel, please all these people are here for you.” Her mother began again, still trying to convince her to join the party.  She opened the velvet box in her arms, revealing a golden tiara, sparkling with the glistening emeralds.  It was breathtakingly beautiful, but it didn’t change how she felt about the party. 

“Miriam picked it out for you, she knew you would love this green.” She stated. 

That made things worse for Rachel.  There was no way she could have a party , after Miriam’s sudden departure. 

  “Oh Rachel, its been 8 months.  Please be alright.” Her mother began soothing her, stroking her hair and cradling her teenage daughter. 

“I’m fine.” Was Rachel’s cold and untruthful reply.  Kennedy and Amanda were still in awe of the amazing crown.  Rachel stood up and plopped on her bed. 

“Oh, please don’t cry,” Amanda pleaded, “It’ll totally run the mascara, I spent almost an hour doing.” Kennedy angrily nudged her. 

“Come on Rach, take your mind off of… certain things.  Its not everyday you get a totally awesome sweet sixteen party.” Kennedy tried. 

Rachel mustered a smile with fake enthusiasm and agreed to accompany her friends to the party.  They insisted she wear the elegant tiara, so she did, but not for them, for Miriam. 

She found herself descending down the marble staircase to the main hall, where the party was being held.  To her immense embarrassment, they all cheered wildly and applauded for the birthday girl. 

She tried to stir up conversation with Dana and Melody, two girls who wouldn’t be considered friends, but lately had taken a sympathetic attitude toward Rachel. 

Unfortunately, William, Miriam’s old boyfriend took to dancing with quite a few girls, including Rachel.  Wouldn’t it be an insult to Miriam if he danced with her sister?

She stepped outside to take a stroll in their lovely garden, but found herself alone on the patio.  Finally some quiet.  The air was particularly chilly, so she wrapped herself in her soft white shrug. 

Quickly though, her grandma Maddie stepped onto the patio uninvited to join Rachel.   Obviously Maddie could tell Rachel wanted to be alone, but she took to talking to her granddaughter instead. 

Maddie finally broke the silence. 

“Still upset about Miriam aren’t you?  I was a bit shocked about her sudden death, but I had a feeling Miriam knew what was coming soon.  I think we all knew it it our hearts, but we didn’t want to admit it to ourselves.”

Rachel remained in silence and Maddie waited patiently. 

“No one seems to care, they all just…” she couldn’t string together any words to talk about the touchy subject, but Maddie understood.

“You’re very deep you know, which is why it hurts you more, but she wouldn’t have wanted it this way.”  Maddie replied, “Miriam was very brave, that’s why she chose the crown early on, she had a feeling she wasn’t going to be here, even if she didn't le .”  Rachel shook her head, “No.” Maddie lifted Rachel’s chin. “Look up dear, its all written in the stars.” 

Rachel brushed away a tear, “I don’t know what you mean.” Maddie smiled warmly, “she’s not here but she always will be, dear, she would want you to enjoy this party she spent so much time planning.” 

 “Miriam is here, with us, you can’t see her, but both of us know she is.” Maddie told her tenderly.  “She’s not gone.” 

At that moment, Maddie left the patio to Rachel, who stood all alone. But, not truly alone.  She stared up at the stars, and that instant, felt a warm gentle breeze brush past her.  She removed her shrug to let the gentle breeze touch her skin. 

Perhaps it would have been good for her to go in, and as if right on cue, her parents and friends approached her. 

“Oh dearie, we’re so sorry, we should have been more sensitive, are you alright dear?” her father looked at her with deep concern. 

Rachel looked outside to see the bright stars for the last time that night.  She smiled at the night sky, to acknowledge Miriam. 

She nodded. “I’m fine.” And for the first time in the past few months, she actually meant it. 
The end. Sorry it was so cheesy!
 

  I'll still be doing away to L.A, but I'll be writing a couple of stories on the weirdest family you'll ever meet!  To think about it, they are so weird, you will probably never meet anyone like them.  Silver gave me a few ideas for the basics.  I've changed a few things though. Some stories, will feature weird songs I wrote so keep your eyes open.  
~Ice Cream Out!

The Swruartenmeyers 
Pedder- dad who plays the jaw harp in the family band.  His occupation is an ice cream truck driver.
Octavia- mom who plays the didgeridoo in band.  She works as a bear tamer in a Russian circus.  Sometimes, she will go to Russia for a month with her troop. 
Bobert and Boberta- 12 year old twins, Bobert looks up to his older brother and dad for inspiration. Boberta is a unique individual and is considered weird in school, and easily the most peculiar member of her family.  They both play electric ukuleles in the family band.  They hang out lot with their older brother. 
Billiam- 13 years old, considered a weirdo, but he is the smartest member of his family.  He aspires to be a mad scientist and is either with his siblings spying on their neighbors, ding dong ditching, and running around scaring small children by dressing up as vampires with big glasses who go boo! and do the Oogie-boogie or he is alone in his room performing crazy experiments.  He has no real friends although this doesn't appear to bother him.  He plays a harp in the band.  
Tobias- Meet the most normal member of this wackjob group, the family's singing toad,  who is also the lead sing in the band.  He is actually quite lazy and spends the day sitting on the couch eating potato chips watching Spanish soap operas. 
Follow these five freaks and their pet as they through daily life, they'll make you rethink abnormal!

       Hey y'all! It's the weekend, guys! We saw this thing on dearblankpleaseblank about the Grammar Nazis. Hahahahaha. Here's our ridiculous story about them.
   
    Jedediah was writing his ten page paper. It was one o'clock in the morning, and he was still on the third page. His monster of a teacher had assigned it to him just THREE MONTHS AGO! Seriously, what kind of a moron did that?! It was like she thought her class was the only one in the whole school.
    His mother came in. "Jeddy, you poor baby, aren't you done yet? I'll get you a new iTouch when you're done. Make sure you proofread! And here's a box of Peeps." Jedediah smiled, than quickly pouted. When his mom walked out, he went back to smiling.
    He put his head down for a minute. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his hand. He opened his eyes to see a tiny, ugly little man. He had god awful style, was wearing knee high flat boots, khaki green pants, a mid thigh khaki jacket, a hideous belt with a shoulder strap, and an armband. He was also wearing a green hat, and strangely, a red pen strapped to his waist.
    "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!" Suddenly, there were thousands of the ferocious little things. They all screamed and started attacking him with their pens. Jedediah was so surprised, he dropped his iPod. One of them said, "YOU ARE SENTENCED TO SUMMER SCHOOL!"
    "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

    Sorry, I wasn't in a writing mood. The others were helping me, but one of our other friends was here and they all started gossiping.
                                                -Lily
   
   

  One of my favorite teachers told my class this true story.  We all started cracking up.  It probably isn't as funny online, but when he told it, it sounded hilarious. 
~Ice Cream Out!
$1,000 Car
When he was a young boy, he used to have a paper route.  Before going to college he gave it to Chris.  One day while visiting his neighborhood, he saw a Mercedes Benz in Chris's driveway.  He asked a friend,:
Teacher:  "Whose car is that?"
Friend: "It's Chris's car."
Teacher: "His parents got him a Mercedes Benz? Wow!  He's sixteen!"
Friend: "No, Chris bought it!"
Teacher: "You're kidding how did he get $20,000?"
What happened: Chris was folding up his newspapers before making his deliveries, when he noticed an ad in the newspaper.  It read: Mercedes Benz for 1,000 dollars.  Chris could not believe it.  He had enough money saved up from his paper route, but he thought it must have been a joke.  Still, who could pass that up without trying?  So, he immediately called the number in the ad.  On the phone was a lady.
Chris: "Excuse me, are you really selling a Mercedes Benz for a thousand dollars?"
Lady: "Yes, I am."
Chris: I'll be right over, don't sell it to anyone else.
Chris immediately went over to her house, bought the car, and came home to deliver his papers.  Of course his father soon noticed the $20,000 car in his driveway. 
Dad: Son, who did you steal that from?"
Chris: "I bought the car."
Dad: "Where would you get $20,000?"
Chris: "I got it cheap for a 1,000 bucks from some lady."
Dad: "You must be making this up.  Let me call the lady you say you bought this car from."
  So Chris called up the lady and let his dad talk to her.
Dad: Did you sell this car for a 1,000 dollars to my son?"
Lady: "Yes, I did."
Dad: "This car is worth a lot more than that?"
Lady: "I know that."
Dad: "Why would you sell for such a low price then?"
Lady: "My husband left me for his Secretary.  He called me up recently, and said to sell the car and send the money to him."
~The End 

Hi guys, Silver here. Lily emailed this story to me, and asked me to put it up for her, so here it is! Lily got her inspiration for this story by watching the sunset.

Away from Time
I had been away too long.
Why had I let myself be lured away from the sea? I started running desperately. I would die if I didn't get back to the water before sunset. I put on a burst of speed. He wasn't even worth it. The sun dips a little lower. Rock shards stabbed at my tender feet. I scream, not of the pain, but of fright. Would I never swim again? Never part the cool waters, or trail my fingers through the sandy ocean floor? The fiery sphere touches the horizon, and I am a few hundred yards from shore. It might as well be a million. The realization hits me like a tidal wave. I'm not going to make it. My legs weren't made for speed, but for pleasure, strolls near the shore. I am only quick in the water, with my slim tail. I can feel my consciousness fading away already. I still run, longing to breathe the humid, salty, air near the shoreline before I go. But I won't. The sun is three-quarters below. I collapse, sapped of energy. I am dying. Dying. I reach out, and the tip of a wave touches my still body. It retreats, and my body fades to sand and blows away in the breeze.

Edit: Hi, it's Lily. Thanks, Silver, for putting this up. (Really late, but better late than never, right?) Well, I hope you like it!